It’s been difficult for me admitting that I really have no control over many of the things in my life. Even harder admitting that no one really does, we just wish we did, perhaps thought we did. But in reality, other people’s choices determine so much of the direction of our lives. So I’ve decided to focus on the things that I do have control over.
First of all, this body that I’ve hidden behind for most of my life has to go. I am done with it. I can control what I eat, and I can control how much I exercise. I will change this body so that it is never again an excuse for someone else, or for myself, not to love me.
Second, I am going to learn to live in the now. To stop living my life as a reaction to the past, or because of fear of the future. I have no control over who decides to stay in my life, or who decides to leave. I have no control over the passage of time. I can only control how deeply and with how much passion I myself choose to love, and how I take advantage of my time in this life.
I can accept that I am enough. I am good enough, and always have been. The bully that speaks to me when it’s quiet is just that, a bully. When confronted, a bully will always back down. If not, you kick their ass!